2010

is almost here! and we can hardly believe it.

We are oh-so excited for a truly new year. 

for a new home.

for more time together.

for more games and less tv.

for more naps.

for new photos on our drivers licenses.

for our new church.

for healthier meals at home and less take out.

for living super close to the zoo... and ikea.

for birthdays 5 & 3 (!)

for digging into new books with renewed passion for reading.

for homeschooling to start (!)

for new vision.

for one less tax to pay.

for gym memberships.

for more relaxing.

for fun.

for rest, that's been so long in coming.

happy new year. 

to you.

and to us.

dear david,

it's almost here. 


And I am excited. Really, I am. 
But I have a confession to make.


It's not about you. 


It's about him. 

And I'm not all that sorry about it. 


See you soon.
Sarah

early

(photo taken at before-the-sun o'clock)

so very early.

so very great.

making like christmas.2

simple headbands + feathers + linen flowers (or leaves) = christmas gifts for everyone

Christmas

The gifts have been opened and the rice pudding has all been eaten (not nearly enough of it by me, however) and once again the whole shebang is done. 


check that off the list. 


I hate that this year Christmas felt like a thing to get done. That advent got lost in the all the painting and packing. That the decorations felt more in the way than beautiful. That sewing was forgotten and replaced with a whole lot of bought things. That baking was hurried. That wrapping was tedious. 


That it all came and went the way in the flurry of a big move. 




Thank God for his grace. 


That my family will share life with me tomorrow and not just on Christmas. 


That we have the means to eat well and give good gifts everyday.




That the thrill of hope isn't just for today and that in my weary world there is still much to rejoice over tomorrow.

debbie downer

today, i do not want to be me. 


There's too much to do, and no motivation to do it.
My clothes don't fit, and I'm doubtful they ever will again.
I don't have a phone or a vehicle, so now that all possible activities on the internet are exhausted, I am stuck here in the mess with screaming kids who won't nap.
I have a Christmas party tonight. bleh.
My make up ran out three days ago and I still haven't replaced it. With my lack of makeup and my body rippling out of my clothes, I should be a sight to see at this soiree.


I just want someone, anyone, at this point it doesn't even need to be my husband, to come through the door and fix it all. Pack it all. Lose it all. Cook it all. Send me to bed and not wake me up until it's over.

home

I feel a gnawing sadness all the time.

Even in the times I feel excited and calm about the move. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that we still don't know what to do with the house and when it comes down to it, I really can't bear the thought of someone else calling this space home.

I know that home will be wherever we are together. And it's always been like that. We've had some really great times in some really bad apartments. And some hard times in some great places. So us, us I'm not worried about. It's the labor and thought that's gone into this place. It's the colors and how they make me feel.

It's the fact that it's ours.

dear husband,

we are at the airport, and you are asleep. thank the Lord you aren't snoring. 


I wish we were sipping coffee, or a non-coffee alternative for me,  while we waited for our (once again) delayed airplane. But you aren't feeling good. 
And I'm just glad you're here with me.


You can take me for coffee when we get home.


love, 
your wife.

advent

Longing for a saviour. 
How sweet that in this season of longing we find ourselves in such desperate need of rescue in such a tangible way. (that is a good thing, right Robbie?) 


I am choosing to trust today. 


That my kids are safe and warm and happy.
That the house we thought had already sold, will sell.
That the apartment we assume is ours, will be.
That the holiday gifts will be made, wrapped, and shipped in time for little hands to enjoy them.
That the painting, organizing, and packing will get done.


That choosing to rest in this time of chaos is, if nothing else, good.


Never before has this season felt so meaningful. 
To relate to Israel's longing for a messiah, to know the feeling of anticipation, and to need His coming so desperately.  


In all the pain, and confusion, and hardship that this month has brought, I'm beginning to see the miracle in it all. 


A baby that came, a Saviour that died, and a gospel that I'm beginning to believe may actually be sufficient. 

making like christmas

with the move buzzing around our brains and our hands diligently working on getting our house ready, the christmas making has taken a back seat. 


BUT...

I have managed to eek these little aprons out. 
Now they just need paired up with little craft books, play dough, and cookbooks and we are on to wrapping! 


i love holiday wrapping. even more than holiday making.

home.

i love this little kitchen. 

sometimes it's frustratingly small but when the light comes in like this and soup is simmering and the dishes aren't stacked to roof, there's absolutely nothing to complain about.

scared.

it's probably my favorite hip song ever. and that's saying a lot... or not much. i don't really like the hip much (and a collective Canadian gasp rises from the crowd) but this song is a keeper. one of those little gems that you don't think about often and isn't even in your itunes library but that every once in a while trickles out of your subconscious and you remember how good it is.


i sat down to write this post about how downright scared I feel about life right now, and typing that one little word, triggered a flood of lyrics and memories and off to youtube i went to find it. you know, because it's not in my itunes library. 


on a side note: it's slightly scary but oh so convenient that you can find anything, (anything!) you want on youtube. 


...so, i was going to wax on about the crumpled heap of mess it feels like we are on the verge of becoming. but instead I am going to take a little youtube assisted trip through my memory and trust that someone who is surprised by nothing holds it all together for me. 


whether i like it or not.

2

Somedays I still can't believe she's a she. 

Even now, two years in, she surprises me... and occasionally confuses me but mostly she makes my insides want to burst with pride over this little spitfire.

here's to two, bubba!

to remember

I'm going to give a little house tour here over the next few days to help me remember this place. 

i love it here. and will miss (almost) every bit of it.