bedtime

the scene at our place last night.

perfect.

dear david,

I'm sorry we can't come see you next month. 
We will try to make it next time. 


I will be the one weeping with my arms in the air.


Sincerely,
Sarah


P.S: Annie was a good call.

banana bread muffins

too bad the husband is too sick to enjoy and I really need to limit my intake for my hips sake. 

thrifting//the desks

so not technically a thrift store find, but when we spotted two of these lovelies at a garage sale I knew the kids would love them. and i was right.

was there ever any doubt?

a word on sickness and health or i love my husband

I'm not one of those lucky sort of girls who got pregnant and glowed their way through the affair. not even close. instead I spent most of my days laid out on the bathroom floor between the frequent stomach emptyings I endured for the entire 40 weeks. 


and the whole time he was there. he was there when I went to bed at 7.30 every night for weeks. he was there when I cried because my throat was raw and my stomach hurt from all the heaving. he was there when we took the trip of a lifetime and then had to do and see everything alone. he was there when the leg cramps hit in the middle of the night. he was there when I begged for drive-thru. and then obliged me, even though he knew it would just come back up minutes after it was finished. he was there when I couldn't go to church with him, when I needed someone to sit with me during my (twice) daily baths, when I couldn't work, cook, clean or even talk some days. he was there when the contractions hit hard and all my shame went out the window in the efforts to meet our baby for the first time. 


and then he did it again.


and when it was all over he was still there. 


and now he is sick. it will only last for a day or two but he's sick. and i know what it's like to be sick, but I'm not so well versed at this side of things. and I am humbled at what he went through for me.


my heart if full of love and admiration for this husband of mine. 

first day

determined.

then nervous.

then excited.

then nervous.

then he went in. 

and he wasn't nervous anymore.

awake

i hadn't anticipated these last 21 months being as hard as they have been. ellie came and life turned upside down. somedays in the best ways and other days the hardest ways. i haven't felt like the mom i want to be. i've felt tired, and lazy and short-tempered, and unmotivated, and all together less than stellar. somedays I've felt like getting out of bed is too much for me. somedays i've just wanted to cry. i've blamed the hormonal battlegrounds of nursing...

my husband hasn't bought it.

lately though it's feeling like a change is in the air. like hope is bubbling up. like we are settling in to being four instead of three. 

we've been eating in instead of out. and watching less tv. and getting up early. and in general being more like the us that we've imagined all along. 

this morning we got up before the sun and set out to see our neighborhood bathed in fog and damp with cool dew. and it felt good. 

it feels like i'm awake.

garage sale

today we had our first ever garage sale. for some reason this has always been one of those things that I felt like I could never do. i'm not sure why. maybe i worried people wouldn't like my junk... er, stuff? or maybe I thought it was making me a little too vulnerable to just put said stuff out in the street for all to see? or maybe I worried that no one would come? or maybe that people would scoff at my asking for money for all my not-good-enough-junk? I don't know for certain what it was but I do know that changed. 

I thought I couldn't do it, but I realized that I can. 


I hope this shift is permanent.

thrifting//the typewriter

most of our days off this summer have been spent (at least in part) scouring the city for little oddities to make our house more like our home. this little beauty came to live with us after we found him at the local salvation army for a song. and it works! there are years and years of dust and grime covering it, so it will need to be cleaned. but for now it's part of the charm.

little fingers gravitate toward it's irresistible clicking keys.

big ones do too, they just know better than to be caught on camera.

the lake

This is one of our favorite spots in the city. We picnic here, we walk here, we play here. We took Ephy down to the lake for his first bike ride off our block. He's been slow to take interest in his bike but one day he changed his mind and that's all it took.

i love these three. 

and this place.