a favorite moment

blah

It is late here and I am alone.
I am alone and cannot sleep.
This does not bode well for tomorrow. 
Because tomorrow still holds school that we need to be on time for.
Kids that deserve more than the 'angry, grumpy' mom they've been getting.
Meals that need to be consumed.
Laundry that needs to be cleaned.
Doctors appointments that need to be kept.
And on and on it goes. 


I am trying not to be bitter over being left alone here to deal with these things.
But I am. 
And I hate it.
Who leaves a 34 week pregnant wife home alone for days?
Probably so many people that I should feel ridiculous for even asking.


The problem with having an easy, peasy relationship for the last 10 years is that when it gets tough, it gets really tough. 
Depressingly, shockingly tough. 
The great thing about having an easy, peasy relationship for the last 10 years is that I wouldn't give up on it no matter how tough it got.


I am so full of questions about the direction of our life. 
The answers only raise more questions.
And sometimes they disappoint me.
And sometimes they seem rather fitting.
But there are always more questions.
I get tired of even asking.


My belly is huge.
And heavy.
And it's a chore to carry.
Sometimes I feel like I will birth more than a baby.


Can you birth a breakthrough?


Melodrama?
Maybe.


Give it five to six weeks and we'll see.