jolly old st nicholas

This is quickly emerging as my go to christmas song. Ephram needs to learn the words for his kindergarten christmas concert so we went searching for a mommy-friendly version and here it is. Ahh, lovely lovely. Thrown in with some Sufjan and afew other old christmas favorites and the holiday playlist is set.

it's beginning to look a lot like christmas...

... from about 3ft high and lower.

my night. a timeline

10:30 p.m: Last nurse of the night
10:40 p.m: Swaddle, snuggle, kiss goodnight and lay the little birdie in her crib. Awake.
11:00 p.m: The birdie puts herself to sleep (a pro!)
5:45 a.m: I wake up to leaky, FULL boobs and a rustling babe. 
5:55 a.m: Back to bed.
8:48 a.m.& counting:

a good night, if I do say so myself. 

full

i am overwhelmed.


with love.
with frustration. 
with pride.
and with sleepiness.

But mostly with love. 

smiles

So I'm about a week late in recording this, but Wren is SMILING! I don't remember the other kids starting this early, 4 weeks - that's early, right? 

We are loving it! 
Even though life is busier than I imagined it could be it feels like we are remembering to stay present (with the littlest one anyway, the older two are a different story I'm afraid) and are taking in every little thing and though I wonder what she'll look like and sound like and how her personality will be, I am content to be in this time with her. 

hot chocolate kind of day(s)

It is cold here. SO cold.

We've been drinking a lot of hot chocolate. 
(And party planning! Where did the last three years go?)

life with a big brother

4 weeks

a return to craftiness

Life has been so, so good since we brought home Wren.

With the exception of last night, which led to the boy staying home from school this morning because there was no way I could foresee having the energy to load up the girls and actually leave the house to pick him up.

So with three kids in the house this morning and the fights already brewing we pulled out the craft basket and got to work. Little leaves were cut (finally using up the paper bunting left over from birthday number 4), arms and hands were traced to make bare trees, glue sticks were wielded and for a half hour, blissful calm emerged at the kitchen table. Along with some pretty beautiful fall trees, if I do say so myself. 

It wasn't as good as three simultaneous naps would have been, but it was exactly what I've been missing so terribly these last months.

And that makes one bad night worth it. 

seven

Ephram says it's his favorite picture of us - so we keep it on the fridge. 

Watching the space around it fill up with ultrasound pictures, well thought out christmas wishlists, school pictures, plastic alphabet magnets, and the latest artwork is a daily reminder of how far we've come, where we want to go, but mostly how blessed we are. 

Happy 7 Robbie! From here to Narnia - only you. 

i've just seen a face

she's just the girl for me

and I want all the world to see we've met.

two weeks

some favorite bits from the last two weeks

obsessed with her 'cute little hands'

so many gifts from family and friends

monkey ears

seriously cute little hands

the teensiest of socks that still don't fit

wispy baby hair we praying stays put

sleepy eyed girls (plural!)

finally being put to use

seeing her blues while they last

cozy nights at home

snuggling up in the snuggler

the baby and the scale

Is it possible to have a baby and divorce yourself from the scale? 

I've always known I was blessed to gain the weight I did in my pregnancies considering how sick I get, but I would be lying if I said the weight didn't eat at me almost immediately following delivery. I would be lying if I said there weren't feelings of failure tied with the inability to lose weight (unrealistically) quickly. I would be lying if I said I see my body now and can appreciate all the changes it's gone through if only because of all the good it gave me. 

I am trying. But I am struggling to be convinced. 

I know I will lose the weight. 

I know the stretch marks will fade. 

I know my husband loves me regardless. 

I know the 30 pounds I've lost in less than two weeks is remarkable. 

And I know I am so tired of believing lies about myself. 

So I will try to cut myself some slack.

I will refocus my energy in the kitchen and re-school myself in the art of fresh, organic produce, vegan and vegetarian recipes, and whole foods. 

I will walk and run and play with my kids. 

I will resist the piles of halloween candy on my kitchen table.

I will enjoy taking care of my home and family again.

I will chose to rest in the love of my husband and more importantly Christ. 

The scale was tucked away cozily for the last nine months, I'm sure it won't mind if we resume our casual acquaintances relationship status. As with all our company in the last two weeks, I could definitely use a breather.