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i just re-read some old posts.


this one in particular is laughable right now.


Sometime between the writing of that and the days before finding the digital 'pregnant' on the pregnancy test, my mind was most definitely made up.


I did not want another baby. Yes. My decision was made.


Too bad it wasn't mine to make.


I think I have come to terms with the fact that this baby isn't going anywhere. The kicks and flutterings are undeniable now. I am at once thrilled by this fact and terribly, terribly sad. This is not what I had in mind for this year, but slowly I am remembering that the boy wasn't what I had in mind for our first year either. Slowly I am remembering that we had the girl in mind long before we actually got her. Slowly I am remembering that the timing has never been what we had in mind. But it has always been better.


Much, much better.