I love Ephram.
I mean really love Ephram.
I hope it's obvious that I love all my kids, but this one is just about the boy.
He is wonderful.
Smart and funny.
Sensitive and kind.
Talented on so many levels.
If I was a gusher, this kid could make me gush.
But lately we're going through some growing pains as a family and parenting this 6 year old has been some kind of rough.
Attitude.
Rebellion.
Discontentment.
Lack of vision and imagination.
Rude.
Not things that were unexpected on this parenting journey but definitely things that we see coming out of Ephram more than we'd like to. And also the kind of things that make this moment in parenting crucial if we want to nip them in the bud instead of further propagate them.
The scary thing is the mirror this all holds up to us.
Our shortcomings and failures.
Our humanness.
Our fallen humanness.
Ouch.
There is no excuse.
No solution we can conjure.
Only grace.
And prayers for love, wisdom, and patience from One who is decidedly not... like me.
Slowly, I believe we will see transformation. I don't feel resigned to this being the way we always are. The mirror Ephram is holding up in front of us? Definitely shows areas we could be better in.
Starting with all that tv and all those video games that were helpful and dare I say?... needed during those long days of pregnancy. But, I haven't been pregnant for over 7 months and those habits remain. Habits that have made us lazy and fostered a disconnect between all the members of our house. Habits that we never wanted to have and that we have been fooling ourselves about for far too long.
While it's by no means the entirety of the problem and therefore not the entirety of the solution, we are putting an end to video games and TV for the summer.
Gah, did I really just commit to that? The genuine fear I feel at the thought of carrying this out only serves to confirm how out of hand it's really been. How much it's served as a crutch. How it hasn't really served any of us well.
This could be an interesting summer.
I need grace.
Oh, how I need grace.
oh sarah - I bet that after the first few painful weeks of adjusting, it will be awesome. I can't believe the difference just moving our tv downstairs made in having the kids read, play, be kids together. That said, I do savor the dora-diego combo weekday mornings and the hour to myself it provides.
ReplyDeleteThis is a new stage we're entering with our biggest...some attitude has been surfacing here as well and I feel very uncertain how to navigate.
Trust yourself, you are an amazing mom and your own intuition will be the best guide. But I know you already knew that.